Notes on Love

I do not have any special qualifications that make me an expert on the subject of love except that I have loved.  What I have learned about love is that we all want to be understood and validated. We want our partners to be accountable for their actions and lastly, we want to feel needed. There is no great secret to love. Within the following pages, I hope you will discover something you never knew, remember something you once knew, and realize that you have the tools you need to be a successful partner in a relationship.

Know that love is not perfect. When you open yourselves up to the possibility of loving someone, there is a chance you will get hurt.  There is a chance you will do the hurting. There is a chance you will feel amazing. There is a chance you will amaze! You need to believe in yourself and open your heart!

Honesty is an important part of a relationship. If you cannot be honest with yourself, how can you expect to be honest with anyone else? It starts with you.  If you are playing with all of your cards showing, there can be no surprises.  Truth can often be elusive and tricky and over time, your personal truth might change.  

Being honest is a difficult discipline as it requires you to be truthful with yourself as well. Sometimes, we find it hardest to be honest with ourselves and will often forgo honesty to spare the feelings of someone we care about. There has to be a middle ground somewhere.  There is a way to honestly express your feelings, without hurting someone else.

Listening is something I think that we all take for granted. We are asked to listen to things from a very young age.  We are made to listen to things as children and this may be one reason why we fight it as adults. We listen to things for enjoyment, like music, television and our friends in conversations, without hesitation. We rarely listen to each other, when it matters. We get so caught up in the day to day stuff that litters our lives that we let it muffle important messages and signals coming from those who are closest to us. Open your ears.

If someone tells you they love you, listen. It takes a lot of courage to admit to someone how you feel. If you are hearing I love you, know that the person baring their soul is very vulnerable at that moment. They are expressing to you, their truth: raw emotion, from the heart.  They are saying, I am here before you, naked.

Naked and bare I stand before you

Raw and pink and new

Open my heart and

Offer myself to you

I am a canvas, carved and shaped in different ways

Lined and dented, rough on edges, from years of play

Underlying art beneath, hidden away and kept

From babe at birth to lovely woman revealed,

A breath escapes and heaves my breast

Trembling at the touch

Never have I feared any feeling this much.

Heart races as it pounds your name

Embracing this, our clever game

Hormones raging, eyes engaging

Always new, constantly safe and ever, ever changing