in memoriam

I do not currently know, personally, anyone who is fighting a war overseas. I do however know several people who have a family member or members in service.

I am honored that so many men and women volunteer to put their lives at risk and their families on hold, so that I may experience my many freedoms. I thank you for your selfless gift to your country.

I also wish there were no reason for war but alas, we have not seen that day yet.

Not all wars are fought overseas. We have many here in our own back yard...racism, poverty, hunger. These are wars you do not need to enlist or be drafted to conquer!

 

In The Glow of My Father’s Fire

A moonless night, some years ago

The stars were barely showing

I could feel the cold, wet grass

Beneath my naked feet, and onward we were going.

I was told to stand under the tree

A wise and knowing Oak

As I watched the men who brought me there

Adorn their hooded cloaks.

A group of men walked to the door

Of the farmhouse we were near

Shouting and exchange of words

Were all that I could hear.

A man came outside

He came by force

His children crying in the doorway,

Wife screaming from the porch.

They took him quick

Tears on his face

He fought as he tried

To slow their pace.

Before I knew what I was seeing

Cuts across his back were bleeding.

Rage in their eyes, not in his

I fell to my knees, disbelieving I was witnessing this.

Just then a light was burning bright

I turned my head to see

My father standing, match in hand

This man who gave my life to me.

He blew out the match and threw it down

As the red burning cross cast shadows across the ground

He snuffed out a life with such little effort

And as I turned around...

I saw this man, this father of three

Reach out to me behind that tree

I held my hand out-stretched to him

And I prayed his soul would be set free

And in the glow of my father’s fire

All but seven years old

I stood alone in my cotton gown

Shivering from the cold.

Lets keep the brave men and women of our Armed Forces, past and present, living and long passed, in our thoughts as we remember the importance of the country they all protect.

Boys of War

Doctors, Rock Stars, Lawyers, Chiefs, Heroes, Bankers each of these dreams of every woman and man for their sons, across the land. Fallen soldiers, little boys no longer know of simple joys.

Look into their darkened eyes worn out from the tears they’ve cried. Helicopters, violent sounds

Fill their heads, all around, Killing Charlie was the goal,waiting days inside a hole. Cold and wet, full of fright… all alone, all the night. Little boys left their toys and went off to fight a war

Returned young men with grown up fears will be the same no more.

God Bless America as we remember the fallen soldiers and civilians and thank those who serve our country, this Memorial Day, 2011

.

On The Road

The path one walks is unique. It is your path alone.


That is not to say that you will need to travel it alone. It is merely a path unlike any other.

You, being the sojourner on this road, are the only person with the map.


My path, for example, has led me many places. I have not always stuck to the plan of my path and whenever I strayed, the pull in my heart,you know, the one that tells you that you are in the right place, would  shout out, "recalculating, recalculating".


As you grow into the person you were meant to be, you learn new things about yourself.

A thing which was especially important to you before, may now seem to take a back seat to something you feel is a better subject for your attentions.


Whatever your path, walk it righteously and with purpose. Honor the directions you are walking.


Be aware of where you are headed, keep an open heart and you will always know you are in the right place.

Heaven Has Two New Angels

Faith allows a person to know right where she or he sits, when God is concerned. If there is to be any comforts gained from a death of a loved one, it is this, despite the moniker you name God.

Two angels shed their earthly bodies this week and were called home.

They will be sorely missed by those who brought them into this world, those that loved them, those whose lives  they etched their way into, and a loss for everyone who never had the great joy to know them.

It matters not that one was an elderly woman and one a child. Their beliefs were on equal planes. Mary and Claire both loved God. Both will be kissed by God, upon entering Heaven.

Here on earth, there will be tears shed. We do not grieve FOR them. If they cannot be here with us, there can be no better place than Heaven. Instead, we will cry our tears to lighten the heaviness in our hearts because we will no longer be able to behold their earthly forms, which we have grown familiar with and quite fond. This pain is a necessary reminder that we were touched by another's life. It reminds us that life is fragile but meant to be lived and shared; meant to be honored and revered.We will shed a tear for each day we will live on without them.

We will smile again, in time, as we remember the closeness we felt and the importance of their lives, whether short or long. We are all blessed to have known them at all.

Farewell today, travel on now, be on your way. Go on, go peacefully. You will never be far from our hearts.

one tough mother

My mother, Paulette...raised twins while working several jobs to keep us fed and clothed. We never lacked love and we were always protected. We had what we needed and we had each other, as well!

My mother Lisa Foulston...Step-mother but never acted like anything but our mother. Closest parental relationship one could hope for. Always there and a blast to be around.

My mother-in-law Barbara Baucom...knew you only for a short while before you left our lives. You loved your children and they have found comfort in each other, since your passing. You were always kind to me and I know you loved me, and I, you.

My mother-in-law Nancy...always a joy to talk to. So much love in your heart. A good, strong woman. I am so looking forward to our time together soon.

To mother, with love...

Scented soft flowers

Curvaceous flirtatious she

devilishly pink

Happily Ever After

We all want to believe in the fairy tale. Every girl who ever dreams of her wedding day has also dreamed of finding a Prince Charming; and together they will live happily ever after.

What is it about the fantasy perfect wedding that is so attractive? Is it the fact that everything appears flawless? Perhaps it is that you, the bride, will be the center of the Universe's attention for a moment in time.

At five we wore a towel or blanket, draped ala Agnes of God , around our heads. Age seven, eyeballed a candidate on the playground and told all our friends we called dibs. By age ten, we had cutouts from numerous magazines depicting our uniquely chosen colors we would swathe onto anything that was fixed, within the Wedding Hall.

We had selected our location where we would become a Mrs. to our betrothed. The dress came along quietly and probably changed from pre-eighty's long, slender and bra less style, to the height of the eighty's puffy sleeved or tatted entirely in lace, to a little more classic motif by the time we were in our teens...this is the piece now that our entire wedding will revolve around.

There came a time in all of our lives where we tucked the treasure trove of wedding ideas away because we were outgrowing such fantasies.

We would pull them out once more, only when we had been offered life partnership in the form of a proposal.

 Let the planning commence!

In the end, no matter the color, the theme, the dress, the guests, the amount of planning, the catered food, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the M.O.B's, the champagne, the tears and the groom who chose you to be his bride...you WILL be the belle of the ball.

You will have all eyes upon you. You will be his Queen. You will party all night, like a rock star. You will look amazing. Most of all...you will never forget this magic night! This was the easy part!!!!!!!!!!

The "Happily Ever After" is difficult in comparison. It takes work to make it happen but it can be a reality.

We are drawn to the promise of perfection but sometimes perfection comes a little off-kilter. Sometimes it is in the flaws of something, where its true beauty lies.

If you offer the best version of yourself and that is reciprocated by your spouse then possibly, the fantasy can come true.

Yours will be a story to tell for all of time! A great love story!

Has Anyone Seen My Mojo???

I apologize for the delay in posts...writer's block attack!

I thought a poem or three might be in order...

I walk the line

I walk the Line of will and won’t

I sit the fence of do and don’t

I stand atop a pinpoint, balanced

And what scares me is the complete abandon

With which I could launch myself

Eyes open, into the unknown

My sick Heart

The love I have is no less

And for that matter not greater

Than those who love

 With hearts that beat better and stronger

Than my own sick heart

The pain I feel is heavy and hard

Dark as the black rubbed from the night

And squeezes on my own sick heart

As unyielding as if it could not burst open wide

And should it shatter, this fragile heart

I would be in good company

Of the heartbroken who have come before

And did not judge me by my weakness

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Self and Other Me

Self is me, the flesh and bone

Other is she-split off of we

And ne’er the twain shall meet.

Self has breath and life and heart

Other has fire and sense apart

Other, she pines and has desires

Where Self looks on as things transpire

Self and Other a unique pair

Self’s closed eyes can see her there

Watching Other as she does her best

Living the life that Self protects

Self is cautious and ever aware

 Of Other letting down her hair

She does the things that Self would not

While Other is free , Self is chained

Where Other’s untroubled  , Self is strained.

Self’s behavior is scrutinized

While Other lives to fantasize

The twain have met and made fast friends

Other is mighty and so persuasive

Life is sweet and often short and should ne’er be wasted

Now Other and Self both are me

She and I are one and We

Our blood flows through shared physic

Both are strong, neither; weak

Loving and living as we believe

With open heart and smile a glowing

Hyper-observant and colors showing

We, as one, Present and new .

Take a Message to Mary

Don't you just wish you could dig out a moat, fill it and know that whatever lay within the confines would be forever safe from harm? It was so much easier to imagine that being the truth, when we were young.

It is me, with my sister, in the photo above. We were about this age when our Dad remarried an amazing woman named Lisa. We gained a lot in that union, including a new Grandmother; her name, Mary.

Everything was different with Grandma Mary! She was a grand adventure for us! She was so interesting. Her house was new and exciting, full of exotic things like animal hides and sharks jaws. Her home was always so full of hustle and bustle, our family had grown!

We loved going there. It was a welcomed blessing to my mother as well! She was, up to that point,single-handedly raising two boisterous girls. She was free from our inquisitions and energy for at least a week end a month now, thanks to Grandma Mary.

At that time, Grandma Mary lived in Buena Park, a stones throw from Knott's Berry Farm. As I sit here and reminisce, I recall that it was because of her proximity to this very park, that I even attempted a roller coaster, at age 7. After an hours wait in line, amidst my own fears, I got stuffed into the carriage and buckled in. After 30 seconds, it was over and I had found out something about myself that has only grown with time...I LOVE a good roller coaster!

Grandma Mary cried with us, the day her daughter, our Stepmother, Lisa and our Dad moved to Tennessee which was my father's home. This, though sad as it was to see them go, started a new tradition at her home. Each time we would come over, we would record, on an old cassette recorder, a tape to Mama and Daddy. It would be a tape of whatever would come to mind.

There were tapes of us belting out Billy Joel songs and tapes of us telling of our days in school or in summer camp. These tapes were constructed during cookie bakes and ornament making marathons, costume sewing extravaganzas and while snuggled up in Grandma's giant bed, watching a horror movie!

Over the years, only one of these tapes remains in my possession. I have listened to it time and again and it always comforts me to hear those long ago voices. I love hearing my Grandmother speaking, in between our rantings, filling the folks in on family news, laughing.She has a deep and sultry quality to her voice and it is so soothing and reminds me of a simpler time in my life.

I think about those tapes and what makes them so special. For me, it was the way that we were able to say whatever we wanted and how that brought us closer together. It was one place where my sister and I could take time alone, to speak to our parents and say what was on our minds. Grandma Mary never listened in and that made us feel important and trusted.

I looked forward to each visit with Grandma Mary. She is solely responsible for my love of two of my favorite things ever...Horror movies and dressing up on Halloween!

I think of her whenever I see a brown Chevy Nova, large sunglasses, plastic cookie cutters, zebra print, open rail stair banisters, African Masks, seashells and these things bring up lovely feelings.

While we cannot always throw a moat around something we have built up and treasure, to protect it...we can protect our memories. Fondly recalling things which change us and shape us and and make us who we are today is part of honoring our past and in doing so, we make room for their memories in our future.